Sigh. I'm frustrated. I don't seem to be able to get over it either. I try to be positive, I really do, but at the moment I feel like I'm wasting time. I'm working, I'm even writing, but I don't feel like I'm achieving anything.
This all began to become obvious about three weeks ago. My Mum came to visit for the weekend and we went to see Ruben Guthrie, a play by Australian playwright and actor Brendan Cowell. I loved it. But I began to wonder why I wasn't writing plays myself. Or anything, really. I mean, I am writing, but nothing feels finished and I still have to go to my day job. I feel somehow trapped. Somewhere.
I wish writing was my day job but I have no idea how to get from here to there. And that, more than the fact that I'm not there yet, is what I'm frustrated about. I'm a proactive person. I like to have plans and implement them. I like to make decisions and act on them (for instance, when I moved away from Melbourne the time between me deciding to do so, and actually getting on a plane was about eight days, and it was only that long because I had to give notice at work). I've made some decisions about things I want to do in the near future, but I can't act on them yet. Patience is certainly not my strong point.
All that said, I do have some things to be positive about at the moment. I have received some wonderfully positive feedback from my teachers about a screenplay and a short story I have written; and a non-fiction piece I wrote last year is about to be published in Voiceworks.
So why am I complaining, I think. Well, I'm just impatient I guess.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Frustration
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yuck! i hate that feeling! i don't really have any advice to give often i feel like that too, its so FRUSTRATING!
ReplyDeletebut its exciting as least about the piece getting published... i guess it all takes time, just chipping away. it might be less frustrating if you lived in melbourne?? hehe
It might be... working on that!!
ReplyDeletei just found your blog :) patience is not my strength either, but getting better.. know what you mean though.. sometimes feels like i'm spinning my wheels, watching the world go by and then everything happens at once.
ReplyDeleteI understood what you're saying about the frustration. I'm also working, (even) writing, (even) re-writing, (even) blogging and trying my utmost best to wear a smile when I'm doing all of the above.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say I'm happy or unhappy. It's more of a stage of suspension. I'm not here but I'm not there yet.
I've been asking myself just what the hell I'm doing here? Honestly, a lot of time I don't know. Right now, I'm hanging on very thin faith in my writing.
You have the great comfort of a soon to be published piece ... I'm still trying to come up with the best work I could do ...
An old say: There's light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep going, Sophie! You're in a better position than mine. Don't give up.
Hope this helps you a bit. ;)
What I would say about getting 'here to there'is that sometimes you just need to jump feet-first into the dark, put your head down & do it...Digging your blog, by the way.
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